DianaTwisting of knickers....and metaphors..
June 20th 2008 04:42
giant underwear-wearer?
The media has got its super-sized knickers in a twist over Australia's supposed 'obesity epidemic'.
Not only do we have the fattest kids, apparently we have the fattest adults by a long shot, according to the press this morning in Melbourne.
Metaphors abound of 'the number of people filling the MCG' being obese and our country winning the 'Gold Medal' for the Fat Olympics.
An interesting jumble of mixed ideas with sport icons (but spectator sport only, d'ya notice?) being dragged in to highlight the argument for our naughty fatness.
We are gulping way way too much high-fat soft drink, crunching into too much high-fat chips and the like, swilling ourselves into insensibilty with fatty cordials then rolling idly and uselessly around on billowing sofas watching plasma tvs.
Too much lazy, indolent stuff going on.
Then the paper warbles on about another of its favorite topics at the moment: the over-crowding of our trains.
Maybe they're crowded cos we are all so pudgy? Perhaps we should have 'silhouette' machines through which people have to fit or they can't travel cos they take up too much space?
Of course, don't forget the high petrol prices, (which I am over hearing about cos we got gas cars and don't understand those who don't), but still: why not have cars which run on 'natural fat'?
Surely science could work out a way we could be plugged into our car (maybe via the cigarette lighter which no one uses anymore) to withdaw our fat while at the same time use it as fuel?
Kill two birds with one stone, eh? Lose wieght, save the public health system and cut petrol costs!
The third favorite topic is water, and how terrible all our rivers are in this wonderful country of ours which we are rapidly destroying.
Of course the rivers are stuffed. No surprise there. They have been raped and pillaged for years and years by us humans and no manna from heaven to redress the balance.
John Brumby though thinks all will be well by draining these rivers for Melbourne's use: have you ever heard anything more dumb or likely to inflame the country people who live along those rivers?
My goodness, the man just seems to bumble around upsetting all the country people with his de-salination plan and river-sucking ideas and then turn around and call everyone liars!!!!
He is so gonna get the popularity vote!!!
I am very disappinted in him, in all seriousness: with such a horsey surname he is sullying the word brumby for all the Elaine Mitchell fans amongst us,me included.
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